Tag Archives: mrsarnow

3 Times it’s OK to Gossip First.

9 May

We all know it’s not ok to gossip about someone else, especially when meant with the purpose of hurting them. But, what about the instances when it’s actually better to gossip first, which might actually save someone from being hurt?

Here are 3 times is MORE than ok, in fact, it’s ADVISED to gossip first.

  1.  If you are thinking about starting a sentence with “I don’t want to offend you, but…” and planning to follow it up with “are you expecting again?” maybe just do your due diligence and GOSSIP FIRST. Ask someone else! Go ahead! Ask other people, if your co-worker who is a mother of a 10 month old and still breastfeeding, is pregnant again, BEFORE you ask her yourself. I promise you, it will save her from feeling that the world sees her as large as she sees herself.
  2. If someone is looking a little pudgy and you’re really hopeful they’re pregnant. GOSSIP FIRST. Chances are, someone will know and even if they do know and don’t tell you the truth, it’s better to ask around, before you ask the person directly. Because #donuts are a thing too, and not all pudgy tummies are carrying an extra set of arms and legs.
  3. Just don’t ask anyone if they’re pregnant ever. Because, if you do, you’re basically just saying “hey fatty, what’s good!”

Ok, I failed. There aren’t 3 times it’s ok to gossip first. There’s one and only one.

Do not ask someone if they’re pregnant. Ever. If someone IS pregnant, you shouldn’t have to ask. If they’re really pregnant, you would know the answer without asking. If they are pregnant and you don’t know about it, it means it’s not time for you to know! Please, for the love… DO NOT ASK anyone if they’re pregnant. Unless, of course, you like hurting people’s feelings.

PS. If you absolutely have to start a sentence with “I don’t want to offend you, but…” just be forewarned. You will offend them.

Disclaimer: The person who asked this question was not intending to hurt anyone’s feelings, but even a well intended question of this type, can still be hurtful. You never know how someone feels or sees them self and pointing out flaws can only intensify and already sensitive situation. Lesson here? Be kind and be thoughtful. Questions without forethought can be dangerous. Xoxo

First Day of (pre)School, Take 2! 

10 Sep

It’s no secret that the last few months have been unparalleled with change, stress and events, including but not limited to a major move. That move ripped off the comfort bandaid of needing to explore preschools, since we loved Remy’s daycare so much and didn’t plan to leave until they kicked us out. 

Well, moving away (only 20 miles, but in LA traffic, that’s like 20 hours) forced us to recognize that our little man is growing up, and needs more structure and education than a daycare could provide. That could also be because there’s just no other daycare like the one we had and everything else just seemed to be miles behind where my 2-going-on-8 year old boy is at developmentally. 

Before we moved, I found a school that seemed really good, but with a newborn who hates traveling, I wasn’t able to tour it until after we moved. At that point, the one open space they had (for full time) was taken and we were left with that school only as a part time option. Not awesome.  

I found another school that was close by, but was much less intimate and far more “public schoolish” even though it still cost more than our first choice. It was great, but not awesome. People were sweet, but it ultimately didn’t give me the same good feels as the other school. 
We reserved a spot for option #2 for M/W/F, option #1 for T/Th and I kept calling #1 every day to see if the wait list had opened up yet. Nope. Nothing. So bummed. 

As summer closed, maternity time off is dwindling down and my babe needs to get comfy in his new place, the start of schools were eminent. He was going to have to adapt to multiple environments and I was going to have to harness my emotional outbursts at the thought. 

Remy’s first day of school at option #2:     Was yesterday. 
I got him already, packed a nice bento lunch:   

 And we were off, paperwork, check for a zillion dollars, and outrageous emotions in hand.

We got to school (alluring him by calling it a “playground”) and I tucked him into his new classroom. Remy’s a HUGE TALKER, so I asked the teacher if any other the other kids were too. She said yes and brought him to two kids who looked at us blankly and said nothing. Meanwhile, Remy spouted off about the kind of dinosaurs he’d found in the bucket and was telling everyone about them (#shamelessmombrag). 

I got myself together, said goodbye and left him there. With kids who don’t talk. Kicking myself that I made a bad decision and guilting myself to go back and get him. 
I finished the paperwork (BTW- can we talk about that sometime???? How much paperwork can you possibly need for preschool?!) and finally, handed them my aforementioned bazillion dollar check. 

Not even 20 seconds after getting to my car, my phone rang. It was school #1 saying that they had an opening and it was ours for the taking! It wouldn’t be available until 10/1, but it was ours! “I’ll take it” was quickly followed by “Now I have to break up with the other school who’s currently in possession of my firstborn son. Shit.”

I can’t tell you how awkward that conversation was. I mean, I can, but I don’t know that anyone could possibly understand! The switch was flipped and the lights of “welcome to our school” were immediately off and replaced by “come get your kid and get out”. Well, that’s not really true. They let me keep him there for 2 hours, and were cold as ice about it, but I had a sleeping infant and couldn’t leave any sooner. Oops. Sorry, it’s not you, it’s me!! Ok, it’s you, but oh well. 

So, TODAY, Remy started his first day of school, again!!!    

Followed by:
 
And 
 

And a big smile when I picked him up this afternoon! 
Drama is over, life can begin settling in now. I’m happy he’s where he is and even more happy that he’s only there a few days a week while I am still on maternity leave, before starting full time. Oh, timing. You’re a silly monster. Thanks for keeping me on my toes… Again. 

The Big Announcement

12 Mar

It’s been a while and I must say, I’ve been absent for a reason.

See, I’m a “heart on my sleeve” kind of person, and when there’s a secret to be kept, I tend to disappear. That doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped writing though, I’ve just been saving everything to my drafts folder. 🙂 So be prepared for an onslaught of updates as I start publishing everything that was missed in the next week! On to the big news…

Remy's Getting a BROTHER!

Remy’s Getting a BROTHER!

Introducing, baby #2!!!

After my last miscarriage, I wanted to err on the side of caution and get through the first trimester before announcing anything about our new little guy. Life’s become so crazy, that I’m actually half way through the 2nd trimester now, and am finally feeling better and feeling the little man move around in my belly makes me feel great. We just had our 20w appointment yesterday and the little champion is perfect. He’s measuring at 10″ already and you can already see his eyelashes, in all their in-utero glory.

Arnow Baby#2 Ultra Sound

Arnow Baby#2 Ultra Sound

Now that it’s out there, I can start posting all of those horrible first trimester posts, and everything else I’ve been wanting to share about life while expecting my new little boy, and simultaneously being thoroughly in love with my now TWO YEAR OLD boy.

Oh yeah, and I started this to anonymously post woes about 1st tri, while it was happening. 🙂 I only got a few weeks in, because morning sickness/life was just too much at the time, but for all of you who can totally relate…

10 Tips for Flying with a Toddler

19 Aug

Last month, I nervously researched “flying with a toddler” in about every Facebook group, Insta-hashtag and mommy blog I could find. What I found was that everyone prepares like mad, and just hopes to survive the few hours – or way too many hours – they’ll be mid-air with a squirmy-wormy, little monster on their lap.

I was the same.

Instead of making official “busy bags”, I packed a special backpack full of fun stuff for the flight, then a separate diaper bag, with all of the diapering essentials, sani-wipes, essential oils (who knows why), and medicines (Tylenol, Advil, Hyland’s Baby Vitamin C and Teething Tablets – again, who knows why). We were lucky enough to have only pee diapers on the plane, thank goodness, but we were prepared, just in case shit hit the fan… literally.

Anyway, we had a GREAT flight both directions and though that might be because I have an awesome kid, here’s my recommendation for flying with a toddler:

1. Get seats next to your partner (I recommend aisle and middle). This also means GET TO THE AIRPORT EARLY!!!

We didn’t want to splurge on the ‘extra 4″ of room’ fees, or bulkhead seats, and got to the airport for both flights way too late to be too choosey, but having seats next to your partner is really great. That way, you can have more room on your laps, lift the arm rest between you, and just kinda share the wiggle. I also felt like having a window (which I typically prefer) would have made us feel too trapped and when little mister needed to walk the aisles for a few, or I needed to grab something from the overhead, and it would have just been a giant bummer for the person in the aisle.

If you’re flying solo, it’s probably best to try to get the aisle, so they can hang their legs off the side and squirm as much as needed too. Plus, kids seem to think that the rolling carts are pretty cool and flight attendants really like chatting with good babies. Any second that passes time in a positive way, means any time without tears.

2. Bring a stroller, but wear your baby! 

We almost opted to rent a stroller in Hawaii, but had recently purchased a BOB from our neighbors who were no longer using theirs. We paid $80 for it (what we would have paid renting) and it was a LIFESAVER in the airport, plus, we got to use it all over the place on our trip, and even more so at home. Best $80 ever.

I wore Remy in the Ergo, and put all of our carryon’s in the stroller, which was great, because we spent most of the time in the airport running to catch our flight (we’re TERRIBLE at getting to airports early). When you wear your baby, they basically pass you through security, and just check your hands for chemicals… which, duh. Why would a mom with a baby have bomb chemicals on her? I guess there are still bad people in the world.

IMG_7723.JPG

Baby/backpack wearing, travel fam.

3. Bring a packed lunch, and if you have time, buy more food at the airport. 

Airline food sucks and it’s not toddler friendly, unless your kid likes nasty roast beef and mayo sandwiches, or can chew almonds and stuff like that. Like I said, we are TERRIBLE at getting to airports when we should, so we weren’t able to buy food in advance of the flight, which meant that the snacks I packed were all we had… and the nasty roast beef and mayo sandwich that we all tried to stomach, but struggled with. My best friend had said “bring snacks, snacks, snacks, and more snacks” and she was dead on. We didn’t bring sugary snacks (god forbid it create a sugar high monster on the flight), but we brought all his favorites and didn’t limit how much he ate of them. Gold fish (organic, of course), organic peanut butter sandwich/cookies, fruit shreds, teensy fruit, and Plum Organic baby bars. All of his favorite treats, all healthy, and all we had for a very long time.

4. Talk to your baby about the adventure you’re going on and (try to) show them the plane before you board.

Remy was mesmerized by it. It was really cute.

5. Tylenol… My hero.

I know a lot of moms don’t give their kids Tylenol unless their kid is SUPER sick with a fever, but this is an important one to understand. Your baby can’t adjust the pressure in their ears yet by elongating their eustachian tubes, the way grown ups/big kids can. Chewing gum, popping your ears, all of that is a learned skill and baby’s don’t get it yet. I gave Remy some Tylenol about 30 minutes before take off, and 45 minutes before landing, so that his ears wouldn’t hurt too terribly… especially because he was sick with a double ear infection on our way home.

6. Nurse or Bottle your baby during takeoff and BEFORE landing. 

To piggy back on the Tylenol, if you’ve flown with a head-cold before, you know that the first decrease in altitude is the worst. On our 5 hour flight to Hawaii, we coasted at an easy 35,000 feet. When we first started to decline down to 10,000 feet, my head felt like it was going to explode. I was sick when we left for our trip, and I actually cried like a baby in pain during our decent. Not my finest moment, but I learned something important; the initial decent is the worst part and if you take care of your baby’s potential for pain or discomfort prior to then, you’ll have a much happier munchkin when your feet are on the ground again.  Nursing your baby on the way up, and again on the way down, in combo with Tylenol, will save your sanity, and your sweet little babe some unnecessary pain.

7. Book your flight during a nap or bed time.

Who knew I would have hit the nail on the head with this one, but it worked! My little guy was so tired just from the time of day, and so beat from all of the stimulation of getting onto the flight, that he slept for over an hour and a half each way on our flights to and from Hawaii. I booked the flights at nap-time in Los Angeles (1:00PM) on the way out, and 4:30PM on the way back, which also helped transition back to nap-time in the PST time zone (he, of course, also napped in the car on the way to the airport).

Nursed and Sleepy

Nursed and Sleepy

8. Pack toys your baby is not used to playing with.

For us, it was stickers and Play Dough. My guy is only 17 months old, so he’s just learning how to play with Play Dough, instead of eating it. It was a really fun part of our flight. We made bracelets and snakes… he loved it. Stickers were the other hit. We found these great “reusable sticker books” where you can actually peel the stickers off the page, and re-stick them somewhere else. The Despicable Me Minions were a lot of fun to move around from page to page, but I wish I’d have seen these Melissa & Doug ones too! So cute!!

9. Don’t be afraid of screens.

We all know that the recommendations for toddlers and using iPads/iPhones/sitting in front of the TV is “no screens until 2”, but that doesn’t include air travel. Sorry. DO NOT GUILT YOURSELF for doing what’s necessary to get where you need to go, if your babe is “under age”. We loaded up our favorite family movie “Turtle Tales” on the iPad and brought it along, just in case… Turns out, I like to sleep on flights, and that’s dumb when you’re holding a baby, so I needed a break from the busyness of play time, and “tur-lurs” were just the thing I needed. Remy had never worn headphones before either. Having them on his cute little head, monkey in arm, was just the sweetest thing to me, and most interesting (read “TIME CONSUMING”) thing I could have hoped for. Also, just pay attention to your kid and try to keep the amount of time you spend distracted from their needs (ie. on your airplane mode phone playing solitaire, or reading the latest tween novel).

Turtle Tales, Monkey, headphones and my Babe.

Turtle Tales, Monkey, headphones and my Babe.

10. Have Some FUN! Wear Matching Family Outfits! Be THAT Family!

This has nothing to do with the success of the flight, other than that it may help you keep a jovial perspective if/when things get rocky. 🙂

Once upon an unmarried time, my future husband made a jokey reference to wanting to “always match when we travel, like the Royal Tenenbaums”. So, for one of his wedding-day presents, I had matching black Adidas warmups made, with silly nicknames and the date on each of our jackets, and our initials on the pant fronts, for us to wear on our honeymoon.We looked like we were from the Jersey Shore. Hilarious. That started the family trend, silly as it was.

Thanks to so many modern brands realizing how fun it is to match your family, without looking like a moron, there are so many options for looking good while matching. My current favorite is Sly Fox Threads. Their designs are awesome, and they have mom, dad and baby clothes that are all awesome. Here’s a pic of my dudes in Maui, matching as my men should.

Happy matching in Maui!

My Boys in Sly Fox, matching in Maui!

The point is, be prepared, but relax and have fun with it. Traveling is stressful with or without a kiddo on your hip, so make the most of it by creating your experience as you go.

If you have any additions to my little list, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Happy trails!

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