Tag Archives: los angeles

Attack of the Killer Crows

28 May
Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Crows are scaaaaaary and when you’re on the receiving end of their wrath, they are a living nightmare.

Last Monday morning, I was on my way out to work. Grant was on his way to the library to study. Remy was in the house safe in the arms of his babysitter, getting ready for his first nap.

As I stood at my car, Grant called for me to come “look at the weird crow sitting by our kitchen door on the trash bag”. I sauntered over, as all self-proclaimed (but totally untrue) “animal whispers” would, thinking that this poor little crow was hurt or something. I mean, why else would he be sitting on the stoop by my kitchen door?

I approached him for two reasons; 1. because I’d left something in the kitchen and the baby was going down for a nap on the other side of the house, where the front door is and I didn’t want to distract the babysitter from accomplishing her napping goal; and 2. to see if he would move as I approached. I did not touch him, or even come close to touching him.

Apparently, what it did was piss off his mama.

Suddenly, my head was surrounded by flapping wings and a shrieking crow was trying to ward me off of her young. They must have been in the middle of flying lessons, and he found comfort on my trash (which of course, should have been sitting there in the first place).

I rushed into the house in a panic and slammed the door behind me. Our side door is a window paned door, so I watched as the crow “yelled” at me, beak gaping open and wings ferociously flapping.

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Not wanting to be late to work, I got what I needed, and headed to our backdoor, thinking I would escape her wrath through the back… NOT SO.

I went outside and my scent must have carried, because suddenly, I was being chased by a big, nasty, PISSED OFF, mama crow. She swooped down to my head several times (see photo above, even though that’s not me) as I ran through my yard, down my side yard (opposite the side with the kitchen door) and when I got to the back gate, I remember that the gate was broken, and I had to run all the way back, around the entire house with an angry crow swooping down to my head, ruffling my hair, and screaming at me. My only options were to run like a lunatic, screaming, swearing and begging for my husband to save me.

I ran all the way to the street screaming and finally, with my protector husband close by, dropped down to my knees (in the middle of the street) and just started sobbing laughing. My husband was there screaming “Fuck You, Bird!!! Stay away from my family!”

If you know my husband, you know how funny this is. At that time, however, I was in tears and dear darling protector of mine flapped his wings so he appeared much bigger that the angry bird.

After the “attack” the crow sat our magnolia tree angrily pounding his (or her) open beak on the branches of the tree, with continued screaming, while ripping leaves off of the tree and throwing them to the ground. Our neighbor Molly said she was “trapped” in her house, and that the bird wouldn’t let her pass, so Grant had to escort her to her car… after all, the birds feared him. It wasn’t the only time he heard someone scream in fear, birds cawing, either. Our upstairs neighbor took to carrying an open umbrella to and from her car as protection!

For several days after, every time I walked outside, a crow would “caw” and I would crouch down… and a few times, I got warning swoops and one time, an extra low swoop to my head.

Thanks, Hitchcock. You’ve ruined me.

LA Kings Fight Song.

6 Jun

He’s done it again… MAGIC!

Introducing: Nerium!

25 May

A while back, my friend Veronica approached me about this product she was working with called Nerium. She was seeing dramatic changes in people’s skin tone, texture and clarity and she wanted me to check it out too. I did and I loved it! A year later, she’s got me hooked.

As an addition to my makeup work, I’ve recently decided to start selling Nerium myself. It’s a natural, plant-based product, free of parabens, gluten and other allergens like soy, and it’s literally changing people’s lives. That may sound dramatic, but it’s really not. People look in the mirror and feel what they see. People with acne scars are being freed of their insecurities. People with crows feet have seen them disappear and feel “like their old selves again”. Women with sagging neck skin or cleavage skin are watching those lines disappear and are daring to wear tank tops or plunging necklines again. People with tired skin are looking brighter, more vibrant. It’s literally lifting people’s spirits by giving them a fresh new glow and a more youthful appearance.

Originally, the nerium oleander plant was being used in research for skin cancer. While it wasn’t healing the cancer, it WAS making people’s skin look healthier, so the testing was shifted from medical to cosmetic.

During clinical trials, most anti-aging skin creams have a lift in wrinkle depth of approximately 5%. NeriumAD, however results in 30-60% lift in wrinkle depth! The results were so “off the charts” for skin care products, that they actually redid the testing several times to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.

The best part of it, is that there’s a 30 day money back guarantee. If you decide to try it, all you have to do is purchase it, use it and if you don’t like it for any reason, send it back for a full refund.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been letting people use my bottles of product to try it out, so I could develop my own gallery of before & after pictures from faces I am used to looking at, and so that I can control the photos myself. I’ve done NOTHING to any of this photos. No enhancements, no photoshop, no anything!!! These are my friends pictures, taken on my iPhone.

Here are some of their real results.

My mom (!!!!!!):

My friend Meredith:

Meredith’s mom, Janey:

My sister-in-law, Hillary:

As you can see, this stuff is kicking booty and taking names. It’s amazing. If you have any questions or are interested in testing it out yourself, let me know.

If you want to purchase this product, click the button below.

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