Tag Archives: blog

Monday Can Kiss It

2 Nov

Pretty sure nothing feels worse than leaving the house so early in the morning that you weren’t able to see/nurse your baby, just to sit in so much traffic, you’re actually late to work, BESIDES hearing your older son say “mama, I still need breakfast!” as you’re hustling him out the door.

If ever I’ve been optimistic, all optimism left my body by 7:30AM today. Seriously.

I packed everything up last night, had it all set and we were ready for this morning, as we went to sleep at 9. Pump packed, just add ice pack. Clothes set aside, just find pants in the morning. Snacks/traffic-style breakfast items packed, travel coffee cup clean and ready for brewing. Kid’s backpack packed and ready to go, just fill water bottle in the morning. Slow cooker dinner items set aside and ready, except for meats, which would be added in the morning too. R-E-A-D-Y… or not.

Couldn’t find my pants in the morning, kid watched too much TV while I got ready, and sure, he had a banana and string cheese, but I DIDN’T MAKE HIM BREAKFAST, so he ate dry cereal on the way to school in the car. And of course, the baby; asleep, unfed and uninterested in bottles still. #momguilt See ya later little guy. Hope you don’t starve all day. I’ll be home by bedtime.

Then to top it all off, traffic was terrible. Go figure. It was so bad, that as early as I left, I still got to the office later than I should have. This is going to be much more of an adjustment than I expected it to be. MUCH MORE.

If you see me before noon, don’t ask how I’m doing… just expect that I’m still shaking off the chaos of the morning and am feeling like a terrible mother. Asking me how I’m doing will likely open a can of worms that you don’t want the answer to. So, just be nice and say “it’s nice to see you” or “good morning” and accept my scowl as a kind “good morning, it’s nice to see you too” for now.

I’m sure I’ll return to my happy self soon. This can’t/won’t last forever. But, the mom guilt is strong and until I figure out how to have a giant commute on top of everything else, just hang tight cuz I’m trying to hang tight too.

QUEUE TOTAL MELTDOWN: While pumping in the super fancy closet/storage room for one of our clients, my brand new, fancy Madela Freestyle Pump, jiggled itself off of the table, and facedown onto the floor, breaking the screen. Now, none of the fancy features work, though as it is, I was manually pumping one side, while electric pumping the other, since for some weird reason, the suction wasn’t working BEFORE the fall even. As I bent down to pick the motor up, I spilled milk ALL OVER my legs. Like, ALL over, and the floor. and the everything, every where. #isitnotmondayanymoreyet?

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My Hot Bloggy Mess

5 Jun
One Hot Mess; A Linkup by The Fike Life.

One Hot Mess; A Linkup by The Fike Life.

I dream about blogging all day long. In fact, I have written hundreds I witty posts in my imagination that will never be remembered when I actually have the time to write them down.

In my head, I’m awesome. Hilarious. So entertaining. Helpful when help is needed, be it child-rearing advice (because I’m such an expert) or a bubble of laughter. I’m your blogger. You identify with me and I with you. I drink belinis every night as I sit on my porch overlooking the wilderness, computer on my lap, thoughtful gaze on my face. I make your life feel more understood, and well, we inspire each other’s Pinterest boards, because my photography of normal life’s events is just so amazing. I’ve always got my laundry done, my kitchen clean, my roots bleached, eyebrows waxed, bed made, dinner on the table by 5:30, and nightstands clear of glasses and tissues, and I still have time to make my husband feel like the rock of my fortress. Also, my perfect toddler naps for hours on end, and sleeps a perfect 12 hours at night, waking up no earlier than 7:00AM. Of course, I wake up an hour before my family (since my family is on a perfect and predictable sleeping schedule) and have time for “me” as I get ready for my day, showering away the perfectly unsweaty night’s sleep, sipping my cuppa’ coffee, all while preparing for another glorious day.

I am perfect. No, I’m not. 

Living in my wild imagination is pure bliss, but when you’re living in my body, it’s exactly the opposite.

This is my guest room... not that any guests could use it.

This is my guest room… not that any guests could use it.

Computer is still on the couch opened to work emails about motorcycles (yes I work with motorcycles) not all the blogs I’ve bookmarked “to read at some future date”, I don’t have a porch overlooking the wilderness (unless you call West Hollywood “wild”), I don’t know exactly what goes into a belini (just that I love them and have to pay $14 for them at any local restaurant – thanks, WeHo) and I have a house full of clean laundry begging to be put away, dirty laundry dying to be washed (lest my dogs pee on the pile again), dishes in the sink and bathroom needing to be scrubbed. Floors, oh the floors… wearing socks that accumulate the hair of my two dogs counts as “sweeping” right? I party all the time too, but those parties (like the one I just had) consist of cleaning out the fridge and finally cleaning up the sticky salad dressing that spilled on the top shelf two months ago. It’s a blast.

Hooray for reality, transparency and hot messes.

I can’t count on consistency in my family’s schedule, but I can count on the fact that no matter what… baby’s up. Gotta jam.

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Attack of the Killer Crows

28 May
Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Crows are scaaaaaary and when you’re on the receiving end of their wrath, they are a living nightmare.

Last Monday morning, I was on my way out to work. Grant was on his way to the library to study. Remy was in the house safe in the arms of his babysitter, getting ready for his first nap.

As I stood at my car, Grant called for me to come “look at the weird crow sitting by our kitchen door on the trash bag”. I sauntered over, as all self-proclaimed (but totally untrue) “animal whispers” would, thinking that this poor little crow was hurt or something. I mean, why else would he be sitting on the stoop by my kitchen door?

I approached him for two reasons; 1. because I’d left something in the kitchen and the baby was going down for a nap on the other side of the house, where the front door is and I didn’t want to distract the babysitter from accomplishing her napping goal; and 2. to see if he would move as I approached. I did not touch him, or even come close to touching him.

Apparently, what it did was piss off his mama.

Suddenly, my head was surrounded by flapping wings and a shrieking crow was trying to ward me off of her young. They must have been in the middle of flying lessons, and he found comfort on my trash (which of course, should have been sitting there in the first place).

I rushed into the house in a panic and slammed the door behind me. Our side door is a window paned door, so I watched as the crow “yelled” at me, beak gaping open and wings ferociously flapping.

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Not wanting to be late to work, I got what I needed, and headed to our backdoor, thinking I would escape her wrath through the back… NOT SO.

I went outside and my scent must have carried, because suddenly, I was being chased by a big, nasty, PISSED OFF, mama crow. She swooped down to my head several times (see photo above, even though that’s not me) as I ran through my yard, down my side yard (opposite the side with the kitchen door) and when I got to the back gate, I remember that the gate was broken, and I had to run all the way back, around the entire house with an angry crow swooping down to my head, ruffling my hair, and screaming at me. My only options were to run like a lunatic, screaming, swearing and begging for my husband to save me.

I ran all the way to the street screaming and finally, with my protector husband close by, dropped down to my knees (in the middle of the street) and just started sobbing laughing. My husband was there screaming “Fuck You, Bird!!! Stay away from my family!”

If you know my husband, you know how funny this is. At that time, however, I was in tears and dear darling protector of mine flapped his wings so he appeared much bigger that the angry bird.

After the “attack” the crow sat our magnolia tree angrily pounding his (or her) open beak on the branches of the tree, with continued screaming, while ripping leaves off of the tree and throwing them to the ground. Our neighbor Molly said she was “trapped” in her house, and that the bird wouldn’t let her pass, so Grant had to escort her to her car… after all, the birds feared him. It wasn’t the only time he heard someone scream in fear, birds cawing, either. Our upstairs neighbor took to carrying an open umbrella to and from her car as protection!

For several days after, every time I walked outside, a crow would “caw” and I would crouch down… and a few times, I got warning swoops and one time, an extra low swoop to my head.

Thanks, Hitchcock. You’ve ruined me.

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7 Quick Takes: People of Interest (MY interest, anyway)

16 Apr

1. PinterestFail.com

Ever geeked out on Pinterest, then immediately added new things to your weekly shopping list, so you could recreate the magic in your own home? After frustrations and contemplation at your own sanity, ever wondered how on earth the original pinner was able to accomplish their “thing” without it looking like a tragedy struck your kitchen? I mean, HOW do they get those beautiful pictures? Well, I joined the club this week.  In fact, my experiment was such a mess (it TASTED good, but was not 1/2 as pretty a process as it looked online and took over an hour to clean up after), that I went to work the next day blabbing my story and my frustrations all over the place. I even decided to start a new website called “F-Pinterest.com”. While talking to my co-workers about my awesome idea, one of the guys said, “It already exists. It’s called PinterestFail.com”, a much better name than my idea was. After discovering this bit of magic, I spent way too much time laughing at messes FAR worse than mine. The site was started by a girl named Jenna Cole, who tried (just like me) to get pretty crafty thanks to all of the DIY picture/blogs on Pinterest. She (and many, many others) succeeded about an many times as I did. Be entertained.

2. Wild Flowers Photography

Long, long ago, Joy and I worked with high school kids at a church together. She was a really great person, whom I adored, but I had no idea then how much more I’d adore her as we grew up. Joy has turned into the most inspirational and talented photographers/story tellers, I’ve seen. Her simplicity and passions show in every photo. Her family (mama of four) is a perfect picture of the love between her and her husband, Donny. They’ve been through a lot and have come out the other side smiling. There’s a calm and patient light that exudes not only from her photos, but from her person. She’s beautiful and wonderful, and her story is full of transparent humility and desire for only producing the best in her work, her family and herself. If you follow her Instagram, you’ll be inspired on a daily basis. Check out her amazing blog/website as well.

3. A Little Vintage Life

I’m not sure how I stumbled upon this family, but the Wests are a traveling “nomad” family. Melissa and her husband run a cute little family business, traveling all over the place in their RV, with their 3 kiddos in tow. What makes them awesome? They travel around and search out thrifted goods, then sell them on Instagram. Their InstaSales are AWESOME. I’ve bought 2 blankets from them, and both did not disappoint me (one quilt and one afghan). Not only that, but Melissa adds a really special touch in the form of hand written thank you notes, that are included in each package and her packages are called “Happy Mail”. She also throws in some cute little vintage goodies here and there. I know it’s silly, and no, I don’t need the thank you note and extra goodies, but it makes me feel good to support someone who’s grateful for the business and who cares about her work. Plus, she’s a cool mama.

4. Blythe Fike

Blythe and I have known each other for what seems like a lifetime. Once upon a time, we were bandmates, and now, she’s the proud mom of FIVE kids… under 7. What (else) makes Blythe unique? She’s a blogger who talks about her faith as a Catholic, yes, but more importantly, she’s a real life mom who doesn’t sugar coat her challenges. And, she’s hilarious. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve laughed out loud while reading her blog. Mud covered, nakey babies just add to the perfect storm that encompasses their sweet family.

5. The Professor from this Story

As I sat at work today, I was just about to request the monday of my husband’s birthday off of work, so I looked ahead to my calendar for that day. Uh oh. I saw a calendar event from my boss; first day lunch with our new Producer. I actually thought “Crap. I can’t take that day off.” I asked my friend (and lucky me, my co-worker) about what she thought I should do and she sent me this. Thank you for the perspective, Trisha. Momentary lapses in judgement are easily remedied by friends who care. Thankfully, my boss supports my decision (best boss in the world).

6. The Law Student’s Wife

I’ve mentioned Erin before, but it’s time to check out her blog, and if you like food the way I do, sign up for her daily recipes. A kindred spirit, she’s the wife of a law student and she understands the “joys” and challenges that brings. What I love about her blog, is that it’s set up to delivery daily recipes that she’s created herself. There’s some unique flavor represented in her work, and many of the items are not very time consuming, which makes this busy mama happy. Her Pinterest is also really beautifully done.

7. Button Therapy

Two of our best friends are Eric and Haley Sanchez. They stood with us in our wedding ceremony and have been champion friends over the years, ever committed to their marriage and their daughter. They’re also committed to being ridiculously good at making things. Haley started Button Therapy some time ago, as her creative streak married her glue gun and old buttons together to form some great (and fashionable) jewelry. I love this stuff. The rings are probably my favorite, but she also makes so fantastic earrings, barrettes, headbands, and other stuff. She’s always posting sales on Instagram, so follow her there.

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My 7 Quick Takes. The Thinks You Can Think Up, If Only You Try.

27 Mar

I’ve been wanting to post a lot of things lately, but as I fantasize about what I’ll write when I have the time, and as my imagination becomes impassioned by what I’m going to say, I complete my day at work, spend my evening with the baby, put him to bed, and forget everything I wanted to do when I finally had a few moments of “me time”.

That said, I think an easy 7 Quick Takes is a must. So, here I go. My 7 Quickies are dedicated to all those thinks I can think, when only I try… and when I’m not reading a Dr. Suess book.

1. I wish I had more time to blog – The sad thing is that I DO have the time, I just don’t have the energy 99% of the time. If I do have the energy to blog, I should probably be folding laundry, sweeping the kitchen floors, or organizing the vast array of baby toys Remy has into multiple bags for rotation, etc., but instead, I just sit. Sometimes in silence, sometimes staring at a wall. Most of the time, on my bed staring at my phone and wondering if I’ll ever feel rested again.

2. Sleep Training – Though I need to write about this in detail later, for now I’ll just say “thank god that’s over.” Sleep training is the worst thing you could ever imagine for about a week, and then, it’s a magical wonder for your beautiful baby, as he slumbers in sweetness. Now, if only I could sleep train myself back into sleeping through the night, instead of staring longingly at the video monitor, wondering if my baby boo misses snuggling me as much as I miss snuggling him, while daddy’s at school. I swear, sometimes I wake up 8 times during the night just because I’m used to it, not because my baby is crying out for me. He’s stoked! Happy and sleeping. Now, I need to figure out how to do that again… maybe I need more wine in my life.

I never thought he’d be able to sleep without me, and I didn’t mind the idea of snuggling him well into his 20′s, but man. He just looks so peaceful and comfy. I love him so.

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3. I need more wine in my life – While we were living in the hotel for 2 months, I somehow lost my ID. Since my license expires on my birthday this summer, it is time for a new one all together. But, the lovely guy at the DMV said that I needed to wait a month to see if I could auto renew online, so he processed my paperwork without sending me a new physical license; just a little piece of paper that says all the important stuff, including “This Document is Not an Acceptable Form of Identification”. Thanks DMV. I’m 37 and  can’t buy my own wine. (PS. 20 minutes after I wrote this, my sweet husband called that he was on his way home from school early and would I like him to grab me a bottle box. Thank you, my love. Thank you.)

4. There aren’t enough blogs by law school wives – But there are! They just happen to all be in their early 20’s and their “advice on how to get through 1L” contain points like, “be social“. Clearly, there are no blogging 1L wives, who also happen to be working full time and raising a baby without said 1L daddy to help (mostly). It’s interesting to see how many similarities there are between all of the different wives, but they are similar to each other… not to me. Maybe it’s because people like me all exist in the aforementioned point #1. There is a good one I do like though. It’s a food blog and she seems pretty interesting.

5. Selfies on Instagram/the webs – Did you know that over 163 MILLION photos on Instagram tagged with #FollowMe? I processed that last night, in awe, disbelief and fear. 163 MILLION people (mostly youngins’) are vying for popularity so badly, that they’re begging complete strangers to follow their lives. Worst of all, this is just one of several different types of hashtags that follow the same trend of asking total strangers to be part of their online “communities”. What scares me most about this is the absolute void these people must feel to be asking for attention from people who will never be able to fulfill them. We’ve gotten to the point where there’s a desire to be liked by more than just your peers in school or in the neighborhood, but by the WORLD (thanks for that thought, Rachel) and it’s possible, but not valuable. How many people’s feed are full of kids faces as they selfie themselves for no reason at all, other than to hope people see them for a moment and tap that little heart shaped icon. I think the greater issue is that they just want to be seen (validated, appreciated, liked, loved, treasured, etc.) in general. SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. I could go on and on and do a deep dive into this, but this is a quick take, so… the end.

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6. Hand soap, dish soap, laundry detergent, cleaning spray, bathroom cleaner, dishwashing liquid, etc. – I don’t have time to be as crunchy or “Holly Homemaker” as I’d like to be, but I do want to supply my home with the best cleaning supplies, while keeping things natural, safe, effective and pure. If I had my druthers, I’d make all my own supplies, be a Pinterest godess, sell things on Etsy and wear long skirts and flip flops all day long, but that’s just not my life, SO, there’s Honest Company. Thanks to Zulily, I can now accomplish my goals of being the chemical conscious mama, while saving loads of bucks on supplies. I don’t think I’ll have to buy any household soaps for at least 6 months. Maybe a year.

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7. 7 Quick Takes, take time! I’m not sure who decided that these should be “quick” but having 7 thoughts to complete can be a little longer than that. 🙂 I’ve officially completed my first 7 quick takes, just in time for Friday.

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