Tag Archives: 1L wife

My Hot Bloggy Mess

5 Jun
One Hot Mess; A Linkup by The Fike Life.

One Hot Mess; A Linkup by The Fike Life.

I dream about blogging all day long. In fact, I have written hundreds I witty posts in my imagination that will never be remembered when I actually have the time to write them down.

In my head, I’m awesome. Hilarious. So entertaining. Helpful when help is needed, be it child-rearing advice (because I’m such an expert) or a bubble of laughter. I’m your blogger. You identify with me and I with you. I drink belinis every night as I sit on my porch overlooking the wilderness, computer on my lap, thoughtful gaze on my face. I make your life feel more understood, and well, we inspire each other’s Pinterest boards, because my photography of normal life’s events is just so amazing. I’ve always got my laundry done, my kitchen clean, my roots bleached, eyebrows waxed, bed made, dinner on the table by 5:30, and nightstands clear of glasses and tissues, and I still have time to make my husband feel like the rock of my fortress. Also, my perfect toddler naps for hours on end, and sleeps a perfect 12 hours at night, waking up no earlier than 7:00AM. Of course, I wake up an hour before my family (since my family is on a perfect and predictable sleeping schedule) and have time for “me” as I get ready for my day, showering away the perfectly unsweaty night’s sleep, sipping my cuppa’ coffee, all while preparing for another glorious day.

I am perfect. No, I’m not. 

Living in my wild imagination is pure bliss, but when you’re living in my body, it’s exactly the opposite.

This is my guest room... not that any guests could use it.

This is my guest room… not that any guests could use it.

Computer is still on the couch opened to work emails about motorcycles (yes I work with motorcycles) not all the blogs I’ve bookmarked “to read at some future date”, I don’t have a porch overlooking the wilderness (unless you call West Hollywood “wild”), I don’t know exactly what goes into a belini (just that I love them and have to pay $14 for them at any local restaurant – thanks, WeHo) and I have a house full of clean laundry begging to be put away, dirty laundry dying to be washed (lest my dogs pee on the pile again), dishes in the sink and bathroom needing to be scrubbed. Floors, oh the floors… wearing socks that accumulate the hair of my two dogs counts as “sweeping” right? I party all the time too, but those parties (like the one I just had) consist of cleaning out the fridge and finally cleaning up the sticky salad dressing that spilled on the top shelf two months ago. It’s a blast.

Hooray for reality, transparency and hot messes.

I can’t count on consistency in my family’s schedule, but I can count on the fact that no matter what… baby’s up. Gotta jam.

Attack of the Killer Crows

28 May
Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Photo Cred: Vincent Bazen

Crows are scaaaaaary and when you’re on the receiving end of their wrath, they are a living nightmare.

Last Monday morning, I was on my way out to work. Grant was on his way to the library to study. Remy was in the house safe in the arms of his babysitter, getting ready for his first nap.

As I stood at my car, Grant called for me to come “look at the weird crow sitting by our kitchen door on the trash bag”. I sauntered over, as all self-proclaimed (but totally untrue) “animal whispers” would, thinking that this poor little crow was hurt or something. I mean, why else would he be sitting on the stoop by my kitchen door?

I approached him for two reasons; 1. because I’d left something in the kitchen and the baby was going down for a nap on the other side of the house, where the front door is and I didn’t want to distract the babysitter from accomplishing her napping goal; and 2. to see if he would move as I approached. I did not touch him, or even come close to touching him.

Apparently, what it did was piss off his mama.

Suddenly, my head was surrounded by flapping wings and a shrieking crow was trying to ward me off of her young. They must have been in the middle of flying lessons, and he found comfort on my trash (which of course, should have been sitting there in the first place).

I rushed into the house in a panic and slammed the door behind me. Our side door is a window paned door, so I watched as the crow “yelled” at me, beak gaping open and wings ferociously flapping.

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Photo Cred: Mark Sebastian

Not wanting to be late to work, I got what I needed, and headed to our backdoor, thinking I would escape her wrath through the back… NOT SO.

I went outside and my scent must have carried, because suddenly, I was being chased by a big, nasty, PISSED OFF, mama crow. She swooped down to my head several times (see photo above, even though that’s not me) as I ran through my yard, down my side yard (opposite the side with the kitchen door) and when I got to the back gate, I remember that the gate was broken, and I had to run all the way back, around the entire house with an angry crow swooping down to my head, ruffling my hair, and screaming at me. My only options were to run like a lunatic, screaming, swearing and begging for my husband to save me.

I ran all the way to the street screaming and finally, with my protector husband close by, dropped down to my knees (in the middle of the street) and just started sobbing laughing. My husband was there screaming “Fuck You, Bird!!! Stay away from my family!”

If you know my husband, you know how funny this is. At that time, however, I was in tears and dear darling protector of mine flapped his wings so he appeared much bigger that the angry bird.

After the “attack” the crow sat our magnolia tree angrily pounding his (or her) open beak on the branches of the tree, with continued screaming, while ripping leaves off of the tree and throwing them to the ground. Our neighbor Molly said she was “trapped” in her house, and that the bird wouldn’t let her pass, so Grant had to escort her to her car… after all, the birds feared him. It wasn’t the only time he heard someone scream in fear, birds cawing, either. Our upstairs neighbor took to carrying an open umbrella to and from her car as protection!

For several days after, every time I walked outside, a crow would “caw” and I would crouch down… and a few times, I got warning swoops and one time, an extra low swoop to my head.

Thanks, Hitchcock. You’ve ruined me.

Right This Minute

12 May

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Right this minute, I’m waiting for the phone to ring.

This has been the longest, most all-encompassing, and genuinely challenging year of my life (or at least of my married life), as my husband has fully switched over from musician to law student. While my son has made it the most rewarding, and my husband’s grades have made it promising, it’s still been a hard year. Not gonna lie.

I’m waiting for the phone to ring, with an exhausted and overwhelmed husband on the other end of the line, letting me know that it’s over (until the fall anyway, and minus the one tiny little class he’s taking over the summer – which is only one night a week).

Tonight, I get my husband back and my son gets his daddy.

Over the last year, we’ve struggled endlessly to make it through in-tact, and to get to the point when we could take a break. Back in December, we expected that break to come, but not even 12 hours after his last fall semester final, we were in a house inspection, with an insurance agent telling us we had to move out of our home right away, albeit temporary. That “temporary move” left us in a hotel for 8 whole weeks. Did I mention we have a baby that goes to bed at 7 and we were all in one room, or that it happened 6 days before our son’s first Christmas? That was anything but the break we wanted (and desperately needed) and we went into the 2nd semester with all of the exhaustion we left the first with, and more. It was a challenge to keep a happy face, and once that second semester started, it was back to the races. But this time, he never came home to study, because he couldn’t. When a single hotel room with a sleeping baby is “home” and your husband is in law school, you just say “Goodbye, baby! See ya in summer!” and now???? SUMMER IS HERE!!!!!!!!!

It’s nothing drastic that we/I want though. I’m most looking forward to just being able to sit on our couch, or front porch, with a glass of wine or a beer and just sit with him, you know… talk. Relax. I’m looking forward to our baby not having to say goodnight to him in the picture of our family on the wall, or via FaceTime, but to his daddy in person. I’m excited about coming home from work to find daddy and son playing and rough-housing around. I’m excited to make dinner after work for my family, and actually get to sit down together and eat it. There’s nothing crazy about what I want. I’m not looking for luxury here. I’m just looking for a moment in time, where it’s just us, and time, and more us.

You see, in our 8+ years, we’ve never had this. For the first 6 years, we had band practice 4-5 nights a week, and tours, and recording sessions, and something that always kept our evenings occupied. When we got married, I lived in a different state for one and a half years… so that wasn’t conducive to spending time together, except for the weekend visits once a month or so. Then we had a baby, and as I was healing up, we were learning how to parent exist as a new family, while completely sleep deprived, and he was still in band practice several nights a week. Then, I went back to work, while he started his pre-law school studies, tutor sessions and readings, while still working on music at night. Then, school started and “see ya later, daddio!” Now, it’s our first opportunity in 8.5 years to eat dinner together on a regular basis. To spend our weekends together. To live our lives as a family who sees each other. And, I. can. not. wait. 

I’ve been afraid in a sense, that something would once again rob us of “daddy time” but it’s looking like we’re gonna make it! In part, because I haven’t noticed anything wrong with our house, and if I learned anything last time, even if your walls are caving in, WAIT UNTIL AFTER BREAK TO CALL SOMEONE ABOUT IT!

I’m 100% the most proud wife on earth, because he’s accomplished so much and been a rock through the storm, but that’s not what this post is about. This is about a wife’s need for her husband and baby-daddy to be home for a bit. And, of course, the absolute excitement that comes with it.

Take-out has arrived (his favorite meal), whiskey is poured, a special gift is on the table, I’m off of work for a couple of days, and now I wait for the phone to ring. And wait. And wait…

 

My 7 Quick Takes. The Thinks You Can Think Up, If Only You Try.

27 Mar

I’ve been wanting to post a lot of things lately, but as I fantasize about what I’ll write when I have the time, and as my imagination becomes impassioned by what I’m going to say, I complete my day at work, spend my evening with the baby, put him to bed, and forget everything I wanted to do when I finally had a few moments of “me time”.

That said, I think an easy 7 Quick Takes is a must. So, here I go. My 7 Quickies are dedicated to all those thinks I can think, when only I try… and when I’m not reading a Dr. Suess book.

1. I wish I had more time to blog – The sad thing is that I DO have the time, I just don’t have the energy 99% of the time. If I do have the energy to blog, I should probably be folding laundry, sweeping the kitchen floors, or organizing the vast array of baby toys Remy has into multiple bags for rotation, etc., but instead, I just sit. Sometimes in silence, sometimes staring at a wall. Most of the time, on my bed staring at my phone and wondering if I’ll ever feel rested again.

2. Sleep Training – Though I need to write about this in detail later, for now I’ll just say “thank god that’s over.” Sleep training is the worst thing you could ever imagine for about a week, and then, it’s a magical wonder for your beautiful baby, as he slumbers in sweetness. Now, if only I could sleep train myself back into sleeping through the night, instead of staring longingly at the video monitor, wondering if my baby boo misses snuggling me as much as I miss snuggling him, while daddy’s at school. I swear, sometimes I wake up 8 times during the night just because I’m used to it, not because my baby is crying out for me. He’s stoked! Happy and sleeping. Now, I need to figure out how to do that again… maybe I need more wine in my life.

I never thought he’d be able to sleep without me, and I didn’t mind the idea of snuggling him well into his 20′s, but man. He just looks so peaceful and comfy. I love him so.

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3. I need more wine in my life – While we were living in the hotel for 2 months, I somehow lost my ID. Since my license expires on my birthday this summer, it is time for a new one all together. But, the lovely guy at the DMV said that I needed to wait a month to see if I could auto renew online, so he processed my paperwork without sending me a new physical license; just a little piece of paper that says all the important stuff, including “This Document is Not an Acceptable Form of Identification”. Thanks DMV. I’m 37 and  can’t buy my own wine. (PS. 20 minutes after I wrote this, my sweet husband called that he was on his way home from school early and would I like him to grab me a bottle box. Thank you, my love. Thank you.)

4. There aren’t enough blogs by law school wives – But there are! They just happen to all be in their early 20’s and their “advice on how to get through 1L” contain points like, “be social“. Clearly, there are no blogging 1L wives, who also happen to be working full time and raising a baby without said 1L daddy to help (mostly). It’s interesting to see how many similarities there are between all of the different wives, but they are similar to each other… not to me. Maybe it’s because people like me all exist in the aforementioned point #1. There is a good one I do like though. It’s a food blog and she seems pretty interesting.

5. Selfies on Instagram/the webs – Did you know that over 163 MILLION photos on Instagram tagged with #FollowMe? I processed that last night, in awe, disbelief and fear. 163 MILLION people (mostly youngins’) are vying for popularity so badly, that they’re begging complete strangers to follow their lives. Worst of all, this is just one of several different types of hashtags that follow the same trend of asking total strangers to be part of their online “communities”. What scares me most about this is the absolute void these people must feel to be asking for attention from people who will never be able to fulfill them. We’ve gotten to the point where there’s a desire to be liked by more than just your peers in school or in the neighborhood, but by the WORLD (thanks for that thought, Rachel) and it’s possible, but not valuable. How many people’s feed are full of kids faces as they selfie themselves for no reason at all, other than to hope people see them for a moment and tap that little heart shaped icon. I think the greater issue is that they just want to be seen (validated, appreciated, liked, loved, treasured, etc.) in general. SO. MANY. THOUGHTS. I could go on and on and do a deep dive into this, but this is a quick take, so… the end.

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6. Hand soap, dish soap, laundry detergent, cleaning spray, bathroom cleaner, dishwashing liquid, etc. – I don’t have time to be as crunchy or “Holly Homemaker” as I’d like to be, but I do want to supply my home with the best cleaning supplies, while keeping things natural, safe, effective and pure. If I had my druthers, I’d make all my own supplies, be a Pinterest godess, sell things on Etsy and wear long skirts and flip flops all day long, but that’s just not my life, SO, there’s Honest Company. Thanks to Zulily, I can now accomplish my goals of being the chemical conscious mama, while saving loads of bucks on supplies. I don’t think I’ll have to buy any household soaps for at least 6 months. Maybe a year.

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7. 7 Quick Takes, take time! I’m not sure who decided that these should be “quick” but having 7 thoughts to complete can be a little longer than that. 🙂 I’ve officially completed my first 7 quick takes, just in time for Friday.

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